Posts Tagged ‘2017

09
Jun
17

2017 Election

Welcome to this meeting, I’m in the chair, if we can get on with it as time is rather tight.

Agenda today is how do we stop the Brexit idea.

Initialy, we need to cancel out the old peoples vote, any ideas from either side?

From the right?

We could have a Dementia tax.

Yes that sounds good, how about if they can loose their houses? Yes, that would get rid of a few voters, what about getting rid of the winter fuel allowance? oh yes, that’s a winner, put that down, cancel the triple lock, yes put that down. We could keep Teresa out of the media, perhaps get her to pop up outside the odd house who wouldn’t vote for her, ever, yes and keep her debating down to the minimum. And just for the Conservative youth we could keep their Social Media occurrences to a minimum.  She needs a slogan that will put people off, Strong and Supple, no, no Strong and stable, yes, yes, ha, ha, ha.

Yes, Yes that’s a good start, how about the left? we need to increase their vote, enough to remove their majority.

Anyone on the left?

Well how about the youth?, they are an untapped reserve.

Yes, but how can we tempt them out of bed.

We could make everything free and lift the minimum wage, secondary education for them and add in some free things for the elderly to bring them over, like free hospital parking and a guarantee to keep the triple lock. We could take over Social Media with Owen and get Momentum to bus in extras for Labours meetings so they look massive as a contrast to the Conservatives single house.

Fantastic, we will have to deliver some costing’s to cover it. We could get Abbott and Thornbury to fluff a few figures, so it doesn’t look too contrived.

Well lets see how it goes, thank you all for attending.

Meeting closed.




Flickr Photos